Lyrics of Music

I don't intend on this being as long as my typical blog entries nor do I intend on the intellectual level (if there ever is any) being near that of my other writings. Additionally I do intend on making a sequel to the Garmisch Was Legendary blog very soon but something else has been on my mind worse than Gwen Stefani singing "I aint no holla back girl." How many times have you listened to a song and never really paid much mind to the lyrics? I do it all the time, especially with rap music. I'm 27 years old and still enjoy hearing a good rap song. The problem with rap music, at least for me, is that every song says the same thing. I've grown immune to hearing about the hardship struggles of the ghetto, slangin' that rock, and making money. What I do enjoy about rap music is the beat; you give me a good rap song with a good beat and there is an 80% chance I do not have a clue what is being said. I typically don't ask any questions about what I'm listening too unless I have the song stuck in my head for a couple days and realize I don't have the slightest clue what the words are. Have you ever had that? You have a song stuck in your head and you're singing along all day to the beat, except you don't know the words, so you're making up your own words to fit the beat. This is what happens most of the time when I listen to rap music. My hearing is going bad and I'm far too white to understand what is being said so I typically mumble right along and Google the lyrics later if I so choose.

Last week when Celia and I were taking the kids to Garmisch for our first family vacation we shuffled through a couple of CD's to help pass the time. We listened to a song that had a lyric that was so infinitely stupid that I had to rewind a bit just to hear it again. That song made me think about other songs I have heard in the past with ridiculous lyrics. Below is a list of my (sarcastic quotation marks coming) "favorite" rap lyrics. All of the rap lyrics are in quotation marks because I could never dream of being this creative; it's like listening to Shakespeare write from his grave.

Jermaine Dupri – Welcome to Atlanta

"I'm the MBP most ballenous player." You can thank me by leaving a comment on that one. That one is bad but there are a few that are worse.

Vanilla Ice – Ice Ice Baby

"If my rhyme was a drug they'd sell it by the gram." For the longest time I would claim this to be my favorite rap lyric of all time. Does anybody truly remember Vanilla Ice? How many of you remember his clothes, the Ace Ventura haircut, and the dancing in the video? Vanilla Ice is a legend. I could not get enough of Vanilla Ice and in my eyes, he was immortal. All of the kids were singing it on the playground, every word of every song. I just closed my eyes and forgot I had two kids because for a moments time I was back in 3^rd grade playing Montana State (great game) singing Ice Ice Baby. Also, did you know that growing up one of my favorite movies was the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles Part 2 all because of Vanilla Ice's cameo? Once I saw Ice on stage I wanted him in the rest of the movie rapping about how the turtles rolled up Toka, Razor and Super Shredder. Vanilla Ice is the product of all the rap stars properly aligning and to show his appreciation he gave the world Ice Ice Baby and Play That Funky Music White Boy. I also want to point out we are rapidly approaching the 20 year anniversary of the lyrical wordsmith chart topping hit. If you don't think that Ice Ice Baby was a great song I want to ask you one question, how does Ice Ice Baby start? You know the answer and if you don't check in the comment block, I'll leave it there.

Shaquille O'Neal – How's It Going Down

"But what about rhyming, I can hold my own. Knick knack Shaq attack give a dog a bone." Oh my God! I feel the irresistible urge to say that one more time so here goes, oh my God! I honestly do not know if ever in the history of music has there been a lyric as awful as that. Shaquille O'Neal had been in the NBA for about 2 years when this album came out and he capitalized on his newfound stardom. I don't blame him for trying to make an extra buck; I just wish that extra buck didn't come from a gullible Midwest boy who had yet to learn good from bad. Yes I bought this album. Do you want to know the worst part, initially I liked it. This was during the time when athletes and celebrities were my heroes. I wrote before about how I Idolized Patrick Ewing and this is very similar in comparison. You see, Shaq was the cool new thing in the NBA. Since I was so young and impressionable I thought "if he's good in the NBA then he's good rapping." It was as simple as that. If I like you doing "A" then I like you doing "B". That was the absolute justification for buying his album and now I just wish I could get that $15 back.(Note: That Patrick Ewing blog was on my other site. You can click on the link I provided or scroll down and read the blog before this one if you are curious to what I'm talking about.)

This is my new favorite lyric and the song I was referring to at the beginning of the blog.

Mims – Like This

"Gimmie that all of that break it down. Girl shake it up now drop it to the ground. Girl you're way to hot, Go a little lower, Now baby beat it up like Rocky Balboa." What can I say to that? Every time I hear that lyric I see Rocky in the ring. His face is swollen and bloody but he's poised to knock the Russian out and give the "If I can change and you can change" speech to communist Russia. I'm almost positive that when Sylvester Stallone came out with the latest Rocky Balboa movie in no way did he think this iconic character was going to be a lame simile in a rap song. But I wouldn't be telling the full truth by leaving out the part where I love to rewind the song to hear that part again and again.

Sure there are plenty of songs that have terrible one line lyrics and if I happened to leave one out that you find overly amusing let me know. I hope you all enjoyed my tangent on rap music.