The Greatest Story Ever Told

Setting: Andrew Romick is sitting in an old wooden rocking chair in the comfort of his living room. He is sipping Brandy, smoking a cigar, and watching The Weather Channel. The fireplace is lit with cinnamon candles lit all throughout the room heightening everybody’s senses. Andrew is setting the mood for one of the greatest stories ever told; the story that changed his life. Andrew is surrounded by his aging wife, Celia, they're 2 children and 6 grandchildren. All are sitting, eagerly starring at Andrew as he strokes his foot long white beard. Methodically thinking about the proper word selection to begin this tale a sudden peace overcomes Andrew. Then, as if Moses himself spoke, the story began.

Andrew: As all of you know, I have lived an extraordinary life. One filled with many stories beyond the wildest of imaginations. It has long been a mystery to everybody I’ve encountered throughout the course of my life, what in fact, the greatest moment in my astonishing life has been. With many stories to choose from I personally feel this tale is a story of epic proportions; rivaling Odysseus in the Odyssey and surpassing Jack and Rose’s blossoming love on the sinking Titanic. With my current health situation taking a turn for the worse, I have come to accept that I am not getting any younger, and that I will in fact, die.

Celia: (Sobbing) Oh Andrew!

Andrew: It's ok my dear. I said all of that because I do not want to die without sharing the greatest story ever told about my life. This story is not something I could make up, it is also the source of many people's envy. This is the greatest moment of my life. The date was October 4, 1994, and I had just turned 13.

(Silence) Andrew pauses and takes a sip of his Brandy while continuing to stroke his beard.

Andrew: With my 7th grade football team trailing late in the 4th quarter to Colfax-Mingo, it looked to be just another brick in the wall of what was shaping up to be a very, very dismal football season. We had a sputtering offense and a defense that had more holes in it than the underwear I’m currently wearing.

Jadon: Dad, I. . .

_ Andrew raises his hand in silence and shoots a glare to his oldest son, Jadon, reminding him to never, ever, interrupt greatness.

--The grandchildren look to have seen a ghost as they swear fire is coming out of their grandfather's mouth. The normal a loving, caring, and gentle grandpa they have come to know and love is not present on this evening. Andrew is so passionate, tense, and there’s something mysterious, yet compelling to the story that the grandchildren know now is not the time for questions nor potty breaks.

Andrew: I was only in 7th grade; however, I played as if I was an 8th grader. I was a silky smooth, 5 foot tall, unstoppable wide receiver from Monroe, IA with a pair of hands the scouts had never seen. Quite frankly put, I was "it."

With about 90 seconds left in the game and our team trailing by 4 points, we found ourselves pinned on our own 35 yard line facing the dreaded 4th & long. My coaches, Mr. Wing and Mr. Hill, incredibly wise beyond their years, decided to go into their bag of tricks and pull out a gadget play. (Andrew chuckles to himself) Gadget plays were my bread and butter. The play in question was going to put the outcome of the game solely on my shoulders; this would be my moment!

---- Everybody is now on the edge of their seats as they can not believe this implausible story they are hearing. They were in the presence of glory, hearing the story of all stories, directly from the source himself.

Andrew: It was carefully designed play. The quarterback, Adam Putz, would pitch the ball to the tailback, Jacob Talley, Jacob was to fake like he's running the ball to the outside but hold up short of the line of scrimmage. Jacob would sell the run and at the last second throw the ball downfield to the man you see before you tonight. The play was called, “28 sweep halfback pass” but to the 7th grade PCM football team, and to the 85 people in attendance, the play was known as, “Salvation.”

The play was executed to perfection. All the defenders bit on the run leaving me wide open 30 yards down field. I caught the ball and glided like a gazelle another 30 yards into the end zone, securing the victory. My head was spinning trying to fully comprehend what I had just accomplished. Everybody on both sides knew who I was. It sheer ecstasy, and every day since then I have been trying to get myself back to that feeling. It has been a long 60 years knowing I will never be able to live another day as grand as that windy October afternoon. I feel with that accomplishment, I have earned my place among the immortals. Damn, I was good!

--There is an awkward silence in the room.

Jadon: You can't possibly be serious Dad?

Andrew: Oh I am. And now you all know the greatest moment of my life.

Jadon: Seriously Dad! What about marrying Mom? Hailey and I? The birth of your grandkids? That steak you made last weekend? You mean none of those rival a meaningless Pee-Wee Football catch?.

--Andrew now stands up, grabs his bottle of Brandy and begins to walk out of the room.

Andrew: You watch your tone young man. It wasn’t Pee-Wee, it was 7th grade, and you forget I played like an 8th grader. If any of you would care to join me in my study I’ll be sipping my Brandy while reliving that transcendent day on VHS. Now, I may finally go in peace.

--- Andrew sees himself in a mirror but the reflection returned is not of an aging man summoning death, but instead of a 13 year old football prodigy.

Andrew: (Winking at himself) Damn, you were good!