Mungadai Part 2

Once complete at the range a bus was standing by to transport us to our next destination which was guaranteed to be filled with fun. Following a brief 20 minute bus ride in which the majority of occupants fell asleep instantly the bus stopped. Speaking of the sleep on the bus, I’m not exaggerating when I say the sleep was instantaneous. I was wearing a fleece hat which I pulled over my eyes with the intent to block out as much light as possible; I then placed my face on the seat in front of me and was completely out.

Exiting the bus was painful. My body was beginning to ache due to the lack of movement and the temperature was steadily dropping. Once everybody was formed up and received the next block of instructions we once again strapped on our ruck sacks and began our movement. I do not know where we began although I do know it was not far away from Baumholder. What I do know is the location of where we began our movement was absolutely beautiful. We were on semi-high ground with the sun setting over the German countryside; even though we were supposed to be keeping an eye out for roadside bombs and enemy combatants I could not help but place one foot in front of the other as I got lost in natures beauty. Being poetic is not in my nature but there are certain things I see in Germany that I never see back in the States, and that was one of them.

We walked and walked, and then walked a little bit more. The sun set and we continued to walk. While the temperature continued to drop I did not seem to notice due to the continuous movement and work which was being done. We also were not carrying weapons with us; the weapons were turned in prior to leaving the range. I don’t know what the official policy is on having Americans walking through a German village strapped with machine guns but I can imagine it might make some people uncomfortable. Eventually a roadside bomb was simulated, and when I say simulated it is not as dramatic as it sounds. We were walking through the Germany countryside and were maybe a kilometer away from a small German village so our IED was simulated by a verbal, “BOOM!” The simulation was followed by placing individuals on a litter (imagine a stretcher) and evacuating them. That was basically the end of that training lane; I’m not sure what the end was supposed to be because a van of ours got stuck that needed pushed out.

We then hopped back onto a bus for more fun. I will be honest; I do not know what time this was. I do know it was dark and I do know that everybody was hungry. I even heard somebody on the bus say “Is it wrong I’m eating Tylenol?” Yeah, it was like that. We were taken to where we received our first brief and where weapons were drawn. Once the bus stopped LTC Oeschger let us know that we would be at this location for approximately one hour. At the time, where we were, was very windy and very cold. There were medics who were going to and from every person to inspect feet with the only drawback to that being they were located outside and not on the bus. Part of me, a very large part of me, wanted to say, “Ah to hell with it! My feet are fine!” however I knew better. The boss even told us before exiting the bus “Trust me guys. This next one is going to be difficult. You are going to want to make sure your feet are taken care of.”

I sat on a very large rock that was located just outside of the bus when the wind hit me. I was taking my boots and socks off when the wind was violently whipping me to my core. I sat there on the rock, both my feet bare, freezing. My fist and teeth were clenched and I got hit with a gust of wind so hard that I wanted to scream. My clothes were damp which made the wind all the more violent. What was only minutes felt like an eternity. Perhaps I’m soft for admitting this but I’ll be damned if all of that freezing did not produce some good news. After the medic was finished working on my feet it was announced there was soup near a tent for us.

Oh how morale was instantly boosted. As the members of my squad and I approached the soup line I immediately began laughing as we all looked like unfortunate saps during the great depression standing in line for soup. When it was my turn to get soup I then began thinking somehow it was all a cruel joke and the Soup Nazi from Seinfeld would appear. “No soup for you,” he would say. I was wrong; thank you God! I was given a Dixie Cup that was supposed to be filled with rice soup but it was missing the rice. Instead I was treated to a nice cup of broth. It was delicious. It was easily 7:30 p.m. by this time, far more than 24 hours since I had last eaten. I swallowed the broth and moved back to the bus to warm up for a few more minutes before our next mission began.

The next mission was simple, transport a Howitzer cannon, which weighed at least 1,000 lbs. from point A to point B. Of course though, before we could push the cannon we first had to get to the cannon. Once again we proceeded to walk and walk, and walk a bit further. We were now in the middle of the woods completely surrounded by trees. It was pitch black and I could not even see in front of me. The only illumination came from red chem. lights handed out to everybody. The worst part of walking in the dark was I did not know what I was up against. We began walking up a hill, I don’t know if it was as bad as the hill from earlier in the day but it could not have been much better. We easily marched up the hill for 30 minutes before reaching the top of the hill. If that was not bad enough there at the top waiting were two beautiful Howitzer’s that desperately needed moved.

Using cargo straps and ropes we began tying our ruck sacks to the cannon with the intent of lightening the load for those who had to push. Once the ruck sacks were secured to the Howitzer we began pushing, which much to my surprise, was much easier than anticipated. There were two logs strapped to the cannon which allowed 8 people to lift at the same time. While we had to rotate people in and out, due to the heavy weight, the mission was going great. Great until there was yet another hill. There seems to be a reoccurring theme there. In a collective effort, every person began pushing the Howitzer in some fashion. We did not stop until we got to the top of the hill and continued pushing, all of the way to our stop point. I could not breathe, my body ached, my muscles burned, and I was completely soaked with sweat. The hill was absolutely brutal but it was over.

By this time it was approximately 11:00 p.m. although I could be mistaken. It was still absolutely pitch black as the place where we were did not have any form of lighting. It didn’t matter though. We were told there was food waiting for us inside one of the tents. We all began to wonder what was being served. “God I hope there’s some sort of meat, I’m so hungry!” “I’ll eat anything they put in front of me, I do not care!” “I’m going to load my plate!” All of that was wishful thinking. While we indeed had food, and more than the cup of broth I had earlier, a steak dinner was the furthest thing from being served.

A bowl of chicken noodle soup, missing the chicken and the noodles was served along with a ball of rice wrapped up in plastic. I inhaled the chicken noodle soup faster than a college kid drinking beer from a funnel on spring break. Perhaps I should have savored it a bit, made it last longer than a microsecond, perhaps that is the logic of a rational human. That was not I at the time. Instead there was a large huddle of men standing enjoying a long overdue, succulent dinner. The ball of rice was not hot; hell it was not even warm, it was room temperature which was about 37 degrees. However, I took one bite into that ball of rice and said with a mouth full of food, “This is soooo good!” In the middle of my rice ball was a nice pleasant surprise, a sardine. I’m not much on sardines, or so I thought. I inhaled the entire ball of rice, sardine and all, and proceeded to lick my fingers and the plastic wrapper the rice came in. What happened next was, well it was, honestly I don’t know what it was.

We were all so cold, so very, very cold. A group of about 20 men were huddled inside of a very small tent with one thing in common, we were all freezing. It began by sitting on the floor, back to back in an attempt to stay as warm as possible. Some men were uneasy about getting that close to another man but echoing throughout the tent was, “Everybody knows the best way to stay warm is from somebody else’s body.” What started out in a few small huddles quickly turned into one massive huddle. What little tension there may have been in the beginning was quickly gone. I remember getting tired but I couldn’t get comfortable. I accidently placed my head on the back of a man for a brief moment only to remove it for a short time. I did this about two more times before he said, “Just go for it man. I’m freezing and your head is so warm.” As I rested my head and began to get comfortable somebody either fell asleep and then fell over or simply decided that sitting up was too much work. Either way, there was somebody lying on the ground. It was only a matter seconds before every man in that tent moved to the ground and that was when the situation began to get a little awkward.

I was spooning with another man. Our bodies were so close that I don’t even know if Celia and I cuddle so closely in bed. The funny thing is as I was playing to big spoon to one lucky individual I was also playing little spoon to an even luckier individual. I was in the middle of sandwich, or a manwich if you will. All around the tent guys were getting as close to one another as possible. Legs were kicked up in the air to wrap around other people; I had a head resting on my legs with my end eventually resting on another man’s chest. There was constant positioning for self improvement all in the name of getting warmer. In the midst of all the positioning and shivering somebody said, “We fit together like a puzzle.” This was followed by a few seconds of silence when somebody replied, “Yeah. A very gay puzzle.”

It was hands down the most heterosexual moment which could easily be misconstrued as something else. Had a picture been taken of that tent it would have been viewed completely out of context. Was it awkward, sure. Would I do it again if I was put in that position, without even hesitating. The ground was freezing, the wind was wicked, and temperature was in the mid 30’s. Unfortunately I was not allowed to get any quality rest. The side of my body that was on the ground was frozen to the bone. That is why I was more than thankful when we were told to get up because we still had more work to do.

It was late and everybody was cold but more importantly everybody remained positive and complied. That’s because we all could feel the end was near. There’s only one more part to go, stay tuned.