The Meaning of Life

I believe I was 8 years old when I first asked my Dad the question, “What is the meaning of life?” I’m sure the profoundness of the question set him back as I was still just a young boy. I don’t remember what he told me or even sure I understood the magnitude of the question I asked him. I was at such a young age I thought the answer could easily be explained by an adult. I assumed there was a clear, concise definition to the meaning of life, as there was with everything I was learning in school; i.e. 2+2=4, the sun=hot, babies come from belly buttons, etc. I was wrong.

I Googled (I love the fact that a website can be used as a verb) “the meaning of life” and even tried searching Wikipedia – nothing. Well nothing relevant that is. There were thousands of hits with thousands of people attempting to sound intelligent speaking from philosophical and religious viewpoints, but nothing which stood out and said, “This! Andrew, this is the meaning of life.” I believe this to be the first and only time Google ever failed me.

20 years after I first asked my Dad the question did I finally learn the answer. I know why I’m alive and what my meaning in life is. For those of you reading this, I have no earthly idea what your purpose is, I’m not that smart. My answer is as simplistic as an answer to a profound question can get – To be Dad and the best one I can be.

Admit it; you thought I was going to say to entertain 20-30 readers via my blog? Didn’t you?

My epiphany came to me as I left Baumholder for a month long field rotation. The morning of my second day away from home I called Celia to talk to her and the kids. Celia put the phone on speaker mode and I began to talk to both Jadon and Hailey. Jadon could not have been happier!

“Daddy! Daddy! Honey, it’s Daddy! Hi Daddy Dale,” Jadon shouted.
“Agghh! Dada Dada! Baaahhhhh,” Hailey echoed. What Hailey said translates into, “Yo! Dad! Cut me up a banana, STAT!”

Those two little kids made my morning and made me feel so good about myself. I hadn’t been gone very long but it was long enough for Jadon and Hailey to know Daddy wasn’t around. Just by hearing the excitement in their voice reminded me I’m doing good by them. And because I know they love me and love having me around only makes me want to become a better Daddy for the two of them.

There are many things I have done, and will do in the future, but nothing will compete with the pride I take in providing for my kids. I’m not reinventing the wheel in parenting, I’m doing what every father is supposed to do, and I take great pride in doing so. The payoff is two beautiful kids who light up like Christmas morning when Daddy comes through the door from work, or calls in the morning and can hear their voice spike immediately.

For the life of me, I cannot think of any better reason to be alive other than to make life as good as possible for Jadon and Hailey. Any parent worth a damn knows exactly what I’m talking about. Most everything I do in my life is little in comparison to what I do at home. To me, the real grade of a parent, and of an individual, is not what outsiders think of you, but is how those in your household view you. That is how you gauge success in life!

I want to tell a story that absolutely broke my heart. It was a morning not long after I returned home from Iraq, and the newness of Daddy being home had worn off. In the days leading up to this particular morning I would go to and from work and eventually Jadon realized that I was home for good. One morning as I prepared to walk out the door Jadon burst into tears. He ran towards me, grabbed my leg and looked up at me with tears streaming down his face and cried, “Daddy no bye bye! Daddy no bye bye! He thought I was leaving for a long time again.

I don’t know what triggered his reaction but it made me realize he was at an age where he knew just how much he wanted me in his life. I knelt down, hugged him, and told him I would never, ever leave him. Sooner, and not later, Hailey will reach this phase too. It was the type of hurt I never want my kids to feel.

While my impact on the world will most likely not be as great as others, I can say with 100% certainty that I made a difference in two beautiful children’s eyes (and one on the way). That is all I need to know and is what I truly care about. Who am I? I’m Jadon and Hailey’s dad, which is everything and more I could ever ask for. And that is the meaning of life, for me anyway.

I would also like to say that today, April 7th, is Jadon’s third birthday. Today Celia let Jadon do what he absolutely loves - Go bowling. You can also see Hailey enjoy some of her Big Brothers birthday cupcakes. Happy birthday Little Boy!